*Personal Update* I Hit a Milestone!

So it's been about 3 weeks since I adopted a new, healthier lifestyle and I am excited to report that I've lost my first 20#! And I feel SO much better! I'm still doing smoothies with the super green, fruit, fat free yogurt, and almond milk for breakfast every day. I've had NO sodas/pop for 3 weeks, and I drink primarily water all day. This coming from a guy who killed 6-8 sodas a day easily, and never drank water. My joints are thanking me! I eat a very very light lunch, usually some celery with a tad of peanut butter for protein, and a couple of pieces of fruit - unless we have salad made up, then I'll have a salad with fat free dressing. Speaking of - I have always HATED fat free salad dressings - I found them to be bland and often watery tasting - but I found the most AMAZING dressing - It's a Ken's Steakhouse dressing, Fat-Free Raspberry Pecan - and it is so full flavored and sweet. Good stuff - try it! For supper - I used to eat until I was so stuffed I was sleepy - terrible! Now, I have a sensible serving of whatever we're having - which is no longer out of a can or a box, and I feel satisfied and more important, I don't feel like I'm in a food coma. I've had NO indigestion for 3 weeks (I was having it almost daily) and I could just go on and on about all the other little physical signs of getting healthier and stronger. Doesn't hurt either that I'm back down to a 38 waist from a 42, 6 months ago. Anyway, just wanted to share, and encourage any of my readers who struggle with the same things, that you CAN turn it all around, if I can - ANYONE can, trust me. If you want to know more about the Super Green, exactly how I'm eating, how to get started, or just need support, feel free to drop me a line! Have a GREAT weekend!

Reaching Out to Transgender Youth

I really need to put some info up here for TG youth, resources, help, etc. I've already been contacted by one young person looking for support and help. I will also link to this post in the menu for easy access.

Research studies of the information needs of transgender youth have shown that their needs differ slightly from those of gay and lesbian youth, and transgender teens are much more likely to attempt suicide than their gay and lesbian peers. Primarily because transgender students face much higher levels of harassment and violence in public schools and universities than LGB students. Reports reveal that many of these students lack the school support and resources that have been shown to improve the education climate for LGBT students. Most of these students, for example, do not have access to a Gay-Straight Alliance in school, and most reported not having a school district anti-bullying/anti-harassment policy that specifically includes protections based on sexual orientation AND gender expression. In a recent study by GLSEN, Over two-thirds(69%) of transgender students felt unsafe in school because of their gender expression. 87% have been verbally harassed at school because of their gender expression. 53% have been physically harassed at school (i.e. pushed, shoved, or subject to unwanted touch). 26% had actually been seriously physically assaulted (i.e. punched, kicked, or assaulted with a weapon) at school. Although ALL LGBT students report these types of issues, these numbers are almost double for transgender students. Not surprisingly, these studies have shown that 9 out of 10 transgender youth turn to the internet for information & support. This is why I am so passionate about the way adults are behaving online - ESPECIALLY the gay and lesbian adults who choose not to foster a empathetic environment, and instead, misinform people, humiliate these youth, and invite them to be ridiculed and mocked by others. It truly is sick. Is it really too much to expect, that we might be able, as a community, to move towards a future in which everyone learns to respect and accept all people, regardless of sexual orientation, gender identity, or gender expression?

And for any transgender youth who might be reading this: I know that sometimes the emotional pain and stress can feel like its too much, especially when there seems to be no one around who cares or understands, or who support you. I also know that, even though it isn't really what they want, sometimes young people think seriously about suicide when it all seems like too much to deal with. It almost sounds cliche now, but trust me, it really DOES get better! I was bullied relentlessly throughout school because of my gender expression, and I considered suicide as an option, but I survived it and I am SO glad I did! You can get through it! Check out places in your community for support, like a trusted family member, school counselor, any person that you trust. Talk to a friend. Go see your school counselor. They might be able to help. Feel free to contact me if you can't find resources, or just need to talk. I am always more than happy to be a listening, caring ear, and have access to some resources. I've posted some resources here that might be able to help. Just in case you need them.

GLBT National Youth Talkline

The GLBT National Youth Talkline provides telephone and email peer-counseling, as well as factual information and local resources for cities and towns across the United States.
All services are free and confidential. The telephone volunteers are in their teens and early twenties, and speak with teens and young adults up to age 25 about coming-out issues, relationship concerns, parent issues, school problems, HIV/AIDS anxiety and safer-sex information, and lots more!
Toll-free 1-800-246-PRIDE (1-800-246-7743)
HOURS: Monday thru Friday from 5pm to 9pm, Pacific Time. (Monday thru Friday from 8pm to Midnight, Eastern Time)
Email: youth@GLBTNationalHelpCenter.org

NEVER give up on yourself! You are beautiful and unique, and you are more powerful than you know! Don't let others steal your future, your hopes and dreams.

Discrimination Is NEVER OK

* Graphic courtesy of The National Center for Transgender Equality, transequality.org.

I want to address the NUMBER ONE biggest misconception regarding the trans community. And that is, that we transition to take the "easy way out". Just hearing those words... feels so bizarre to me. Easy. The easy way. Wow. Nothing could be farther from the truth. People think we transition to the opposite gender so that we can easily blend right in to mainstream society. So that we can gain privileges we weren't allowed before. In other words, rather than live with the streotypes and discrimination we would endure for being gay or lesbian (and not ALL transsexuals were gay or lesbian prior to transition), we transition to get rid of the label. Well I'm here to tell you, there's nothing remotely easy about it. Not deciding to move forward with it, not easy to come out to friends and family, not easy to navigate insurance rules and juggle paying for expensive medical and therapy appointments. Not easy coming up with tens of thousands of dollars for surgery, or looking for jobs and going through background checks. Not easy losing friends and family, or dealing with a community that doesn't always want you around. Not easy being left out of legislation for the sake of getting laws passed to protect the G and L. And certainly not easy dealing with other people's ignorance and intolerance every step of the way. It was by far, the hardest thing I have done, I lost friends, I lost family. I've experienced hate crime, I've had death threats. I'm certainly not complaining, I'm here, I'm happy and it was all worth it to get to where I am today - and I'd go back and do it all over again. But it was anything but the "easy way out".


It's fine if you choose not to encourage it, or even support it. But you can have your opinions while still respecting other human beings, and preserving not only their dignity, but your own. It is possible to express one's disagreement with a situation and discuss your personal reasons and views without trodding all over someone else's identity. Your disapproval of it is your prerogative, but that doesn't make you in the right. Have whatever personal beliefs you want, and feel free to express them as your OPINION, but please, don't think for one second that the decision to go through transition and the fallout that can come from it is easy. Easy would have been remaining in the gender I was born, keeping my circle of friends intact, keeping my job, my home, and keeping my sense of community. That would have been much EASIER. But I wouldn't have been being true to myself and my soul.

New York State of Mind

Enjoy these AWESOME photos of gay & lesbian couples celebrating their MARRIAGES!!!! They are truly heartwarming - #12 made me cry!

Love is tender, and knows no gender

See The Portraits HERE

Hate Trending - Who Is Hating

Aside from the fact that she is a bigot, she does not fully source any of her “facts”, and, most disturbingly, she is preying on young people and obsessing on them. She is almost 50 years old, and spends her time compiling photo after photo of people in their teens and early 20s - claiming she's trying to show proof of an epidemic, but all it proves is her sick obsession. Add to that, that she bullies these young people and publicly humiliates them. As a Psychology major, I can tell you that her body language and facial expressions give away the probability that she has borderline personality disorder, and it's highly likely she was mistreated/assaulted by someone as a child/adolescent. I assume the blogging and vlogging that she believes is a good outlet, probably needs to be replaced by intense therapy and anti-psychotic meds. So my point friends, is to stop letting this mentally scarred, disturbed woman get under your skin. She doesn't represent the majority of the greater GLBT community - at best, she represents a tiny, invisible fraction of the lesbian community. She will NEVER get what she wants. Trans rights are being acknowledged in more and more states, we're moving forward, we aren't going anywhere! Times are changing for the better for the Trans community - and hateful, unhappy people like dirt will be left in the dust - still sitting behind a computer whining about how we shouldn't have what we DO already have!

Miami Dade Schools Add Gender Identity & Sexual Orientation Protection

The Miami-Dade School District, the fourth largest in the nation, today joined other districts across the state of Florida in protecting students from bullying based on gender identity or sexual orientation. The move by the Miami-Dade school board to add gender identity to its anti-discrimination and harassment policy was greeted with praise by both Equality Florida and the Miami-Dade Safe Schools Coalition who have been working diligently for years to pass such protections.
With this latest victory, one and a half million students representing nearly 60% of Florida’s school population are now protected from bullying based on sexual orientation and gender identity, ranking Florida fourth in the nation.
In a statement, Stratton Pollitzer, Equality Florida's Deputy Director said: "This is a tipping point for the state but our work continues until every school district large and small provides these vital protections."
I am happy to see reports like this, too many young lives have been affected by hate and intolerance, and it's about time people stop focusing on what makes us different, and realize that ALL KIDS MATTER! Way to go Miami-Dade!

To read more about it: Equality Florida

Destiny

So, I commented on this ridiculous post on 'that other blog'... but my comments get deleted on a very regular basis (even though she claims over and over not to delete comments) So, I'm cross posting it here for when it disappears over there.

*Edited to add* My comment was gone in less than 15min at the other blog, as I suspected would be the case....

My responses are in italics.

dirt said: "Like so many other contradictory aspects of transition, those in the never ending state of transition constantly claim that "biology isnt destiny" while proving every day of their trans lives that they in fact really believe that it is."

Ridiculous. And again with the blanket generalizations! I've never claimed the above... and have actually NEVER heard that claim made. And transition isn't "never ending" - mine is done. I am transitioned. You state all the following "ifs" as though they are a given for all transmen...

If you change your manner of dress after transition, you believed biology is destiny.

I didn't. I dressed the same way prior to transition.

If you seek out employment as the perceived sex that you didnt as your actual sex, you believe biology is destiny.

I didn't. I have been employed in the same field since about 7 years prior to transitioning.

If you use a restroom as your perceived sex that you didnt as your actual sex, you believe biology is destiny.

I always used the mens restroom in public. Even prior to transition.

If you go topless as the perceived sex and you didnt as your actual sex, you believe that biology is destiny.

I don't. Why? Because we all can't and I don't like the double standard. When a woman can bare her breasts in public at all the same places men can, then I'll consider it.

If you receive straight male privileges that you didnt as your actual sex, you believe that biology is destiny.

Well obviously, male privilege exists and any transman who claims it doesn't is full of shit. It's what you do with that privilege that counts - none of us ask for male privilege. Some enjoy it I'm sure, I do not... but I am not at fault for the issue of male privilege.

If you expect entryway into certain spaces AFTER transition that you didnt expect before, you believe that biology is destiny.

So - I'm assuming you mean male spaces? Because if you mean female spaces, then why wouldn't I have been granted entryway before transition? In either case - I have never expected entry into an all woman event or college since transition, and wouldn't have expected entry into an all male space prior to.

If you act differently as the perceived sex that you didnt as your actual sex, you believe that biology is destiny.

My personality, mannerisms, behavior, etc. have not changed. I am the same person I've always been, just changed the packaging a little :)

If you were afraid of doing something as your actual sex that you arent as your perceived sex, you believe that biology is destiny.

This makes no sense to me... you'd have to be a little more clear on this one. Like my fear of heights? Scared of heights then and now...

If you socialize more with one sex as your perceived sex that you didnt as your actual sex, you believe that biology is destiny.

I have always and still do socialize with a variety of people, but since I'm married, it's usually other couples - some of which are gay, some lesbian and some het, (trans AND non-trans hets) My friendship pool & social habits did not change.

If you expect to be treated differently in any way as the perceived sex that you didnt as the actual sex, you believe that biology is destiny.

I just expect to be treated with respect and kindness - then and now. My expectations of others did not change.

So I pretty much deconstructed your very haphazard assumptions of what transition is... clearly, you don't get it. You've just proven that.

Rape is Rape!

In a recent speech at the University of New Hampshire, VP Joe Biden told the story of a college freshman he referred to as Jenny. Jenny was raped after a party on campus. She tried to pursue a case against her rapist, only to be asked if she had been drinking, what she was wearing, and whether she was dancing. The University never took action against her assailant. Sadly, this happens far too often, the victim ends up blamed because she was drinking or somehow led her assailant on, and this is unacceptable! As Biden said, "Rape is rape is rape." Every year, however, when compiling the numbers, the FBI omits hundreds of thousands of rapes from its Uniform Crime Report because it’s using an 80-year-old definition of rape. The FBI’s outdated definition of rape is limited to "the carnal knowledge of a female forcibly and against her will." The FBI’s outdated definition of rape excludes any form of sexual assault that falls outside of the narrowest understanding of heterosexual sex, including the rape of men and boys as well as transgender people. The emphasis on "forcible" rape also means that the rape or assault of women with physical or mental disabilities and those who were unconscious or under the influence of drugs and alcohol, like Jenny, are often excluded. The FBI’s 2007 Uniform Crime Report listed 91,874 "forcible rapes," but some estimates suggest the actual number may be 24 times higher. The FBI's underreporting of rapes translates to less federal funding for police departments nationwide to test rape kits, and fewer rapists brought to justice.

Sign below to tell the FBI to update its definition of rape to address and end sexual assault:

Tell the FBI: Rape is Rape!

Source: Change.org

Sexism is WRONG - Yes, even when it's against men.

Sexism is wrong. It is ugly in any way, shape, or form. Why is it, that little is said about reverse sexism, or misandry - prejudice against men? It DOES exist, and it is rearing its ugly head all over the place. My wife works for a battered womens shelter, however, there is no help for battered men. And they DO call... and she has no choice but to turn them away. Men aren't supposed to ask for help, they're supposed to just "man up" and deal with it. So is it OK for a woman to hit a man? Perhaps because they're men, they deserve it? They had it coming - for every man that was ever bad and hurt a woman, the rest should pay. Is that it? There are A LOT of good men in the world. Kind, loving men. But men are typically viewed as aggressors across the board. I am certainly not suggesting that women aren't abused more often than their male counterparts, and I do realize that women have had a tougher road to get to where we are as a society today. But a by-product of radical feminism (in my opinion) has been misandry, and that should concern us all. True gender equality will only be reached when we stop ALL prejudice. When we start respecting people for who they are, not what gender they are. Discounting someone because of their gender - EITHER gender - is unfair and is destroying any chance at true gender equality in this country.

More & More Cities Move Towards Trans Health Care

Let the detractors say what they wish - the fact is, acceptance of Transgender people is increasing, and more and more cities are offering, or planning to offer health coverage for Trans people.

Read All About It in USA Today

Historic UN Human Rights Resolution Covers Transgender People

On June 17th, the United Nations endorsed the rights of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people in a historic resolution. This is an important shift on an issue that has divided the global body for decades, and much credit was given to the Obama administration’s push for GLBT rights in the United States and abroad.

The resolution calls for a panel discussion to be held next spring, with “constructive, informed and transparent dialogue on the issue of discriminatory laws and practices and acts of violence against” gays, lesbians and transgender people.

U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton said in a statement: "This represents a historic moment to highlight the human rights abuses and violations that lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people face around the world based solely on who they are and whom they love.”

The winds of change are surely blowing.

Read the UN Press Release Here

Don't Assume...

Because I support and will fight for Trans people being able to medically transition once they've received the proper counseling/therapy, I am called a misogynist. Because I didn't feel my body, as it was, portrayed my true self, and felt more at home in the body I was allowed to transition into, I am called a misogynist. Because I don't support radical feminism, and feel that some radfems spread horrible blanket generalizations, and skew the facts to support their extreme stances on these issues, I am called a misogynist.

Don't assume that because I transitioned from female to male, that I hate women.

Don't assume that because I am a transman, I hate Butches or want them to transition.

Don't assume that because I am a transman, that I support men in women's only spaces.

Don't assume that because I am a transman, that I think I'm better than a woman.

Don't assume that because I am a transman, I agree with other transmen attending/transitioning at women's universities.
Don't assume that because I am a transman, I want others to transition.

Don't assume that because I am a transman, that I am trying to be trendy.

Don't assume that because I am a transman, that I am stereotypically male.

Don't assume that because I am a transman, that women's rights don't matter to me.

Don't assume that because I am a transman, that I was raised with rigid gender expectations.

Don't assume that because I have scars, that I hate them, or look disfigured. I am PROUD of them!

Don't assume that because I wasn't born with a penis, that I don't feel complete.

Don't assume that because I am a transman, that I am angry.

Don't assume that I am unhappy because I am a transman. I am beyond blessed!

Don't Assume.

The War on Planned Parenthood

The GOP has been waging a war against women for years. One of the main issues going on in recent years, is the call to cut funding to Planned Parenthood. For nearly a century, Planned Parenthood has promoted women’s health and well-being, through educationally based programs, based on respect for each individual’s right to make informed, independent decisions about health, sex, and family planning. Conservatives everywhere are using their positions of power to rob women of the valuable health care resources that Planned Parenthood provides. The GOP believes cutting funding to Planned Parenthood, thereby preventing women from taking advantage of their services, will reduce the number of abortions performed in the U.S., as they believe this is the mission of Planned Parenthood. And what many don't realize (and the GOP doesn't WANT you to know) is that abortion services make up only 3% of Planned Parenthood's work. They don't tell you about the 83% of their work devoted to PREVENTING unplanned/unwanted pregnancies - they don't tell you about the one MILLION pap smears, and the over 800,000 breast health exams they provide each year. They also provide 4 MILLION STD/HIV tests, and provide educational programs to over 1 million young people each year. We are already seeing the results of the GOPs war on women, right here in Minnesota. Planned Parenthood plans to close six Minnesota clinics on Aug. 1 because of federal budget cuts. NONE of these clinics provided abortions. What these clinics DID provide, were breast cancer screenings, pap smears,contraception, as well as testing for cervical cancer and sexually transmitted diseases to low income Minnesotans - people who were trying to be responsible for their health, and for the health of their families.
Of course, none of this matters to Conservatives, who seek to force their christian ideologies and "family values" on the Nation.
Look, the point is, I don't like the idea of abortion personally. I understand how people can’t bear the thought of it, and they have the right to their convictions, but they don't have the right to impose it on others who don't share the same convictions. Regardless, this is NOT the mission of Planned Parenthood. I don’t understand is why anyone would want to eliminate funding when the REAL mission of Planned Parenthood, focuses on contraception and reproductive health for those who couldn’t otherwise afford it. Planned Parenthood isn't some insidious group, scheming to undermine America's moral precepts. It's a lifeline for the economically disadvantaged who have a desire to be responsible with their bodies and their sexuality, and avoid a future filled with regret.
Basically, what I'm saying, is if it isn't YOUR uterus, stay out of it.

Let Us Not Forget Today, We Are Not All Equal

In the patriotic excitement we all get caught up in on Independence Day, let's remember that not all Americans share the same freedoms. I'm not suggesting we shouldn't enjoy today (I plan on BBQing and popping open a few cold ones) but let's keep in mind today as we celebrate:

* That only 6 states allow gays & lesbians the freedom to marry, and those marriages are ignored in all other states with the exception of New York & California - and still forbidden federal recognition entirely.

* That DADT is still law, and GLBT people are still prohibited from serving our country openly.

* That only 34 states have Hate Crimes laws - and only 12 of those include gender identity in their protection.

* That it's still legal to fire an employee for being gay in 29 states - 38 if you happen to be Trans.

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness."...
That only applies if you are heterosexual AND cisgendered. The rest of us are still waiting for that promise to be fulfilled.

"It's not Transphobia, it's the TRUTH!

If I had a dollar for every time I see/hear this from within the greater GLBT community - and from an increasingly high number of Butch lesbians, well, I'd probably be able to help a financially strapped transman pay for his chest reconstruction! How do we define 'truth'? Well, Merriam-Webster defines it as:

The state of being the case: the body of real things, events & facts.

Now let's look at the definition of homo/trans phobia: (Merriam-Webster didn't have transphobia listed, as it's a fairly new term - but obviously if you swap out homo for trans, it would be the same)

An irrational fear of, aversion to, or discrimination against trans people.

So, I ask you, whose "truth" are we using? Throwing the word truth around is a slippery slope. They claim that transmen/women can't possibly be truly happy. This an unfounded, unproven, wild assumption. I am very happy. No, I'm not fooling myself, or on a "trans high" - I transitioned over 13 years ago, I think the high would have worn off by now. I know I am not a biological man. I like to think of myself as a biologically challenged man. :) I don't need biology to be on my side to live the life I choose. And I know so many other trans men and women who are happy with their decision, whose lives were, in fact, saved by the ability to transition to the gender they feel more congruent with. This is OUR truth. You don't have to like it. You don't have to live it, but you can't decide what's true for us.

The claims that the trans community is somehow trying to recruit from the lesbian (Butch) community, and that we are pressuring young people to transition, is ludicrous. I'm not suggesting that peer pressure NEVER happens. I'm sure it does. I'm not suggesting that there aren't young people transitioning to be "trendy" - I'm sure some do. But to blanket an entire community with those accusations is unfair - and whether you like the word or not, it IS transphobic.

In closing, I want to reiterate that I admire and applaud Butch women. I love that they're fighting the social construct of gender and throwing out the rules and roles put on them by society. I especially appreciate those who can do that, and at the same time, feel confident enough in themselves not to be threatened by the trans community. The plain and simple TRUTH is that none of us have the right to assign an identity to anyone else, regardless of our personal beliefs/attitudes/opinions/phobias. The sooner we ALL get that sorted out, and stop calling everyone out on their identity and their truths, the sooner we can all work together to rid the laws of this country of ALL discrimination.

Our Bodies

So a HUGE part of the trans-bashing that certain other blogs engage in, is the repeated assertion that we have ugly, mutilated bodies, made grotesque by all the "hacked off" parts. Well I'm here to tell you, and I can only speak for myself (although I know this will be true for most trans men and women) - I LOVE my body! Sure, I have scars that are faintly visible, a reminder of my chest reconstruction. A reminder of how I used to think I would always have to bind, would always avoid looking in the mirror, would always feel sad and be a hermit. I have a scar on my abdomen, a reminder of a time when I thought I would always feel suicidal once a month, a time when I felt like I didn't even KNOW who I was. There was a time, long ago, that I thought I would live the remainder of my life feeling like an alien. Feeling like there was no place for me in this world. But fortunately, there was help. Fortunately, professionals, who KNOW what they're talking about (unlike bloggers with agendas), were able to get my mind sorted out, and help me find the answers I was seeking. Fortunately, there were surgeons willing to use their skills - one of which who had NEVER done a trans related procedure - to help bring my body closer in line with my soul. Once I completed my SRS procedures, it was as though you'd waved a magic wand and I started feeling the cloud cover on my existence lifting. It was truly life saving. I had lost the will to live, I couldn't imagine a future in which I would be forced to feel disconnected from my own body. So for all these people who think they have it all figured out, and think they know what they're talking about... what they call mutilation was, in fact, a revelation. I love my scars. I love that I am free to walk through the world with a clear, settled mind and soul. I love that I can feel proud of who I am and what I've done in my life to follow my truth. No one can take that away from me. I'll take a few faintly visible scars over a pine box any day.

Here are some pics I thought I'd share...

First pic:(circa 2004) Three weeks post op, still pretty swollen but LOVE the result! (The band aid was from a portion of the incision that the Dr. opened up for drainage from the hematoma on that side)

2nd pic: About 2006, 2 years post-op


3rd pic: New ink last year!

4th pic: Healed ink, 2011