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Friday, March 18, 2011

Radfem Lesbians and Hatred Towards FTMs

This whole rift between FTMs and some lesbians continues on... and I'm coming to terms with the fact that there just may be no end in sight. I want to make it clear that I am referencing only that portion of the radfem lesbian community that is anti-trans, and I realize they are not the majority (I hope!) Some of my best friends are lesbians and I admire them so much. But for the rest, like Benjamin Franklin said, "Being ignorant is not so much a shame as being unwilling to learn." The truth is largely this: a number of radical feminist lesbians hate men and actually seek to make it very mutual. The constant clamor about FTMs and misogyny is just psychological projection, a transfer of their own attitudes onto the opposite gender, whom they despise. However, I do love it when these women (speaking only of those who hate FTMs) finally expose their true natures to the world. They've managed to hide their vileness for long enough - continuously pretending to be weak and hapless victims when, in fact, they can be some of the most nasty and malevolent humans on the planet. 
My main concern is for the younger Butches and FTMs who are still trying to figure out how they fit into not only their skin, but into society. I worry because I know how hard this road can be...  I think everyone has experienced a strong desire to do or be something only to have someone else tell them they can't, or shouldn't, or shouldn't be allowed to. All the insults, the bogus reasons as to why we are incapable of following our aspirations, and the negative reactions we may receive from all kinds of people... what do they really amount to? They shouldn't have an effect on us, because they're ignorant to who and what we are, and what we're capable of as individuals. There's a reason race horses wear blinders... if you're one of those people being affected by this hate trend in the GLBT community, just keep the focus on you and your own truth, and leave the haters in your dust. Peace out!



Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Randomosity

Wow, you'd think working from home I would be able to keep up with my blogs. Nah. I get so busy doing stuff around the house that I neglect the computer - which in most cases, is a good thing, but I really do want to be better at this blog.

Since I last blogged, I have been elected to the Board of Directors for the Gay & Lesbian Youth Services committee locally, so I'm pretty stoked about that. They really do a lot for the GLBT youth in our area, including weekly support group, social activities, aiding the local HS GSA's, etc. I think this is going to be a very worthwhile thing to spend some time on! I'm a tad nervous as well, being that I haven't worked in this capacity before. I am also looking into volunteering some time in LaCrosse, WI with the GLBT youth group there. We did a family presentation there recently and man, talk about some GREAT kids! I thoroughly enjoyed hanging out with them. I was especially touched by the 14yo lesbian couple who spoke about holding hands at school and the wish I ha sneers they got from some people. But they were so committed to being out and being themselves regardless. I wish I had been that brave at 14!


I'm still passionate about trying to figure out & do something about this rift between the lesbian & trans communities, before we destroy the solidarity we ALL need so desperately to change society. I just don't get it, and I've tried really hard to. I realize that both groups need different things to happen, and I know that we're very different in not only our past, but in our goals as communities. But I also know we want much of the same as well. I'm especially troubled by hearing repeatedly that we were not born trans. The term “gender identity” was co-opted by the powers that be (medicine, society, etc) for the most part, to mean “gender delusion” (“well ok, we'll let you identify however you want,”). I repeatedly hear that lesbians have the same past, and the same issues but that transmen chose to take the easy out, and caved to societal stereotypes. That we hated ourselves so much as non stereotypical women, that we started cutting off healthy body parts, That our transitions are rooted in misogyny, etc. And then even those who claim to be supportive and understanding, still tend to define us by our biology. I wish so badly that I really KNEW how to put into words what it felt like as a small child who was trans, who maybe didn't have the vocabulary for it, but KNEW. I feel like if I could let others inside my head for one day, they'd really GET it. And I always come back to this... whether you really get it or not, where's the basic humanity gone in our community? When did we start turning on one another? 


Why is the intolerance we get from society not enough?