Trans & Passing

I never really used the term passing. I also never really gave the term any thought, until recently, and I decided I don't like it. To me, it implies pretending... passing oneself off as, etc. No offense to those who use the word - but if you do, have you really thought about what you're saying? That you're passing for the gender you identify with - not that you ARE that gender. It plays right back in to the ol gender stereotypes. Men are expected to look a certain way, and women are expected to look a certain way. If you're trans, and look male/female enough, then you "pass". It just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Lately, this seems to be one of the things the trans haters are using to discredit and ridicule the trans community. But hell, I've seen Butches who barely pass for female - including some that could totally pass for male. But if you were to tell them they don't look like women, you'd be called out for being a misogynist. Because Butches should be able to present any way they want to, and not have their gender ID questioned or be forced into a "gender straightjacket" - I agree, but you can't have your cake and eat it too. You can't expect the freedom to be your authentic self and be free of gender rules and regulations, and then turn around and ridicule a transman for not looking male enough, or a transwoman for not looking female enough.
I'd love to see the term "passing" removed from the trans vocabulary. I'd love to see a society in which individuals have the freedom to be who they want to be, and be respected and treated fairly regardless of their appearance or gender.