The Importance of Diversity & Tolerance

"In Germany they first came for the communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up."

- Rev. Martin Niemoller

Diversity enriches our lives. Much as the biological diversity of an ecosystem increases its stability and productivity, cultural diversity brings together the resources and talents of many people for the shared benefit of all. Sadly, the differences among us have historically formed the basis of fear, bigotry, and even violence. People fear diversity simply because they are accustomed to the way things used to be and change makes them uncomfortable. The fact is, there are more trans people becoming visible now, and I'm not talking about the trenders - the really young people who I've admitted repeatedly, are toying with gender to make a statement or to be different. I'm talking about transsexuals. I'm talking about people like me, who grew up with this. It's become safer to be out. We've always been there - we were just mostly invisible. I get that transsexuality isn't easy to wrap one's mind around... it's confusing. Some choose to enlighten themselves and try to understand it, some just concede that we all have a right to our identities whether others get it or not. And some decide to take the road to intolerance.


If you do not understand another's values, lifestyle, or beliefs, it is much easier to belittle them. And so the seeds of prejudice and intolerance are sown. You don't have to agree with, or promote another person's identity, but tolerance is something that we OWE one another when it comes to how we identify. We are intolerant if we reject or dislike people because they are different, or have a different set of values, or challenge our ideas when it comes to identity. And intolerance harms not only its intended victims, but society at large, as well. No one who believes in democratic pluralism should accept any intolerance or infringement on freedom of expression - and that includes gender expression. Democracy is based upon the idea that we can have differences in opinion and still get along. These democratic principles are threatened whenever anyone suffers from intolerance. Tolerance, (loosely defined), is not prohibiting that which you disapprove of. Must we tolerate anything and everything? Of course not and few people, if any, claim that we must. To embrace tolerance does not mean one must allow and accept obvious injustices. But my being a transsexual doesn't hurt YOU. I am not hurting anyone. I am not committing any injustice against another person. I deserve tolerance, as do you. If someone is tolerant of me being transsexual, that does not mean that they must transition themselves or even approve of my transgender status. And it certainly doesn't mean they must give up their own identity or values. This idea that tolerating and respecting my choices in life results in killing YOUR identity, well it's just ridiculous. And specifically, I am talking about the idea that transmen are somehow destroying the Butch identity. It's smoke and mirrors, and it is histrionics. It's a really lame excuse for intolerance.


Intolerance compromises our integrity by encouraging us to treat others badly. Intolerance is used to stigmatize, silence, and, on occasion, target people whose identities challenge our own self-esteem and ideologies. It is often assumed that people who experience one form of oppression and discrimination are less likely to discriminate against others. Unfortunately, this is not necessarily true. Especially when we're talking about the GLBT community. Is it too much to ask, that we ALL learn a little respect for the contribution of the ‘other’ – whereby the ‘other’ is treated with deference, courtesy and compassion, in an endeavor to safeguard the integrity, dignity, value and social worth of the individual, and of society?

Discrimination Is NEVER OK

* Graphic courtesy of The National Center for Transgender Equality, transequality.org.

I want to address the NUMBER ONE biggest misconception regarding the trans community. And that is, that we transition to take the "easy way out". Just hearing those words... feels so bizarre to me. Easy. The easy way. Wow. Nothing could be farther from the truth. People think we transition to the opposite gender so that we can easily blend right in to mainstream society. So that we can gain privileges we weren't allowed before. In other words, rather than live with the streotypes and discrimination we would endure for being gay or lesbian (and not ALL transsexuals were gay or lesbian prior to transition), we transition to get rid of the label. Well I'm here to tell you, there's nothing remotely easy about it. Not deciding to move forward with it, not easy to come out to friends and family, not easy to navigate insurance rules and juggle paying for expensive medical and therapy appointments. Not easy coming up with tens of thousands of dollars for surgery, or looking for jobs and going through background checks. Not easy losing friends and family, or dealing with a community that doesn't always want you around. Not easy being left out of legislation for the sake of getting laws passed to protect the G and L. And certainly not easy dealing with other people's ignorance and intolerance every step of the way. It was by far, the hardest thing I have done, I lost friends, I lost family. I've experienced hate crime, I've had death threats. I'm certainly not complaining, I'm here, I'm happy and it was all worth it to get to where I am today - and I'd go back and do it all over again. But it was anything but the "easy way out".


It's fine if you choose not to encourage it, or even support it. But you can have your opinions while still respecting other human beings, and preserving not only their dignity, but your own. It is possible to express one's disagreement with a situation and discuss your personal reasons and views without trodding all over someone else's identity. Your disapproval of it is your prerogative, but that doesn't make you in the right. Have whatever personal beliefs you want, and feel free to express them as your OPINION, but please, don't think for one second that the decision to go through transition and the fallout that can come from it is easy. Easy would have been remaining in the gender I was born, keeping my circle of friends intact, keeping my job, my home, and keeping my sense of community. That would have been much EASIER. But I wouldn't have been being true to myself and my soul.

Randomosity

Wow, you'd think working from home I would be able to keep up with my blogs. Nah. I get so busy doing stuff around the house that I neglect the computer - which in most cases, is a good thing, but I really do want to be better at this blog.

Since I last blogged, I have been elected to the Board of Directors for the Gay & Lesbian Youth Services committee locally, so I'm pretty stoked about that. They really do a lot for the GLBT youth in our area, including weekly support group, social activities, aiding the local HS GSA's, etc. I think this is going to be a very worthwhile thing to spend some time on! I'm a tad nervous as well, being that I haven't worked in this capacity before. I am also looking into volunteering some time in LaCrosse, WI with the GLBT youth group there. We did a family presentation there recently and man, talk about some GREAT kids! I thoroughly enjoyed hanging out with them. I was especially touched by the 14yo lesbian couple who spoke about holding hands at school and the wish I ha sneers they got from some people. But they were so committed to being out and being themselves regardless. I wish I had been that brave at 14!


I'm still passionate about trying to figure out & do something about this rift between the lesbian & trans communities, before we destroy the solidarity we ALL need so desperately to change society. I just don't get it, and I've tried really hard to. I realize that both groups need different things to happen, and I know that we're very different in not only our past, but in our goals as communities. But I also know we want much of the same as well. I'm especially troubled by hearing repeatedly that we were not born trans. The term “gender identity” was co-opted by the powers that be (medicine, society, etc) for the most part, to mean “gender delusion” (“well ok, we'll let you identify however you want,”). I repeatedly hear that lesbians have the same past, and the same issues but that transmen chose to take the easy out, and caved to societal stereotypes. That we hated ourselves so much as non stereotypical women, that we started cutting off healthy body parts, That our transitions are rooted in misogyny, etc. And then even those who claim to be supportive and understanding, still tend to define us by our biology. I wish so badly that I really KNEW how to put into words what it felt like as a small child who was trans, who maybe didn't have the vocabulary for it, but KNEW. I feel like if I could let others inside my head for one day, they'd really GET it. And I always come back to this... whether you really get it or not, where's the basic humanity gone in our community? When did we start turning on one another? 


Why is the intolerance we get from society not enough?