Discrimination Is NEVER OK

* Graphic courtesy of The National Center for Transgender Equality, transequality.org.

I want to address the NUMBER ONE biggest misconception regarding the trans community. And that is, that we transition to take the "easy way out". Just hearing those words... feels so bizarre to me. Easy. The easy way. Wow. Nothing could be farther from the truth. People think we transition to the opposite gender so that we can easily blend right in to mainstream society. So that we can gain privileges we weren't allowed before. In other words, rather than live with the streotypes and discrimination we would endure for being gay or lesbian (and not ALL transsexuals were gay or lesbian prior to transition), we transition to get rid of the label. Well I'm here to tell you, there's nothing remotely easy about it. Not deciding to move forward with it, not easy to come out to friends and family, not easy to navigate insurance rules and juggle paying for expensive medical and therapy appointments. Not easy coming up with tens of thousands of dollars for surgery, or looking for jobs and going through background checks. Not easy losing friends and family, or dealing with a community that doesn't always want you around. Not easy being left out of legislation for the sake of getting laws passed to protect the G and L. And certainly not easy dealing with other people's ignorance and intolerance every step of the way. It was by far, the hardest thing I have done, I lost friends, I lost family. I've experienced hate crime, I've had death threats. I'm certainly not complaining, I'm here, I'm happy and it was all worth it to get to where I am today - and I'd go back and do it all over again. But it was anything but the "easy way out".


It's fine if you choose not to encourage it, or even support it. But you can have your opinions while still respecting other human beings, and preserving not only their dignity, but your own. It is possible to express one's disagreement with a situation and discuss your personal reasons and views without trodding all over someone else's identity. Your disapproval of it is your prerogative, but that doesn't make you in the right. Have whatever personal beliefs you want, and feel free to express them as your OPINION, but please, don't think for one second that the decision to go through transition and the fallout that can come from it is easy. Easy would have been remaining in the gender I was born, keeping my circle of friends intact, keeping my job, my home, and keeping my sense of community. That would have been much EASIER. But I wouldn't have been being true to myself and my soul.

Radfem Lesbians and Hatred Towards FTMs

This whole rift between FTMs and some lesbians continues on... and I'm coming to terms with the fact that there just may be no end in sight. I want to make it clear that I am referencing only that portion of the radfem lesbian community that is anti-trans, and I realize they are not the majority (I hope!) Some of my best friends are lesbians and I admire them so much. But for the rest, like Benjamin Franklin said, "Being ignorant is not so much a shame as being unwilling to learn." The truth is largely this: a number of radical feminist lesbians hate men and actually seek to make it very mutual. The constant clamor about FTMs and misogyny is just psychological projection, a transfer of their own attitudes onto the opposite gender, whom they despise. However, I do love it when these women (speaking only of those who hate FTMs) finally expose their true natures to the world. They've managed to hide their vileness for long enough - continuously pretending to be weak and hapless victims when, in fact, they can be some of the most nasty and malevolent humans on the planet. 
My main concern is for the younger Butches and FTMs who are still trying to figure out how they fit into not only their skin, but into society. I worry because I know how hard this road can be...  I think everyone has experienced a strong desire to do or be something only to have someone else tell them they can't, or shouldn't, or shouldn't be allowed to. All the insults, the bogus reasons as to why we are incapable of following our aspirations, and the negative reactions we may receive from all kinds of people... what do they really amount to? They shouldn't have an effect on us, because they're ignorant to who and what we are, and what we're capable of as individuals. There's a reason race horses wear blinders... if you're one of those people being affected by this hate trend in the GLBT community, just keep the focus on you and your own truth, and leave the haters in your dust. Peace out!

Discrimination From Within The GLBTQIA Community

One thing that the GLBT community is really quick to do, is point out prejudice and discrimination aimed at them by society. But dig a little deeper and chances are you'll find that some of these same individuals fighting prejudice and judgement directed at them, aren't quite the examples of tolerance and acceptance that you'd think they would be.

The rainbow flag that many of us proudly wear represents the diversity in this community, the many different people and stories and backgrounds, all in the same fight for acceptance and equality. To treat any other group in our community with hatred and prejudice, when we're all fighting for equality, is absolutely reprehensible. There is so much to gain from uniting and respecting one another and building each other up, and so much to lose by tossing our humanity and tolerance out the window and behaving in the same manner as those members of society who hate the GLBT community.

Wake up people...

More Rampant Transphobia

So for a few days I humored myself, thinking that adding my voice to the mix over at dirtywhiteboi67's hateful, trans bashing blog might make a difference. There was actually some semi-constructive dialogue between myself and  the author. Then this morning, I happened to check things out and found the following post by the author. This hate monger is actually "educating" parents of children who have asked for help because they are dealing with gender identity issues, and turning those parents against their own children. My mind tells me to just never go back there and read, and to just leave it alone... but my heart tells me that this is leading up to some young person out there in a sea of hatred with no life boat because people like this are poisoning the minds of ignorant parents. Following first is the original post, then my comment on the post:

"Actually there is no real proof (other than the say so of "trans" themselves-highly unreliable) that trans isnt anything more than a disorder. There is also no proof that the current barbarism called "treatment" cures trans issues long term. Trans folks like any drug addict will say whatever they believe they have to to maintain a trans lifestyle. We've already seen several parents who because of those post realized what was going on with their daughters and this trans trend and quickly nipped the issue in the bud. 
Several girls lives have been saved merely by passing along visual info already made public. Seems the visual effects is what works best and I've already had quite a few emails asking me to use more visual stimuli to make points. "

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Hate Sucks said: Ok... I did my part. I tried to participate in an open minded, educated discussion - in hopes that the hate mongering and mis-information would stop and we could find some middle ground. But it's pointless to try when the very author of the blog continues to lead the witch hunt, and deny the authenticity of an entire community of people. It's laughable that a few days ago, I believed maybe we were making some headway.

Who are YOU to tell ME that I am not authentic in who I am?? And to refer to us as drug addicts... I don't even take T regularly anymore. I know a lot of post-op transMEN who no longer take T once the desired changes occur. 
And yes - it's a disorder. I won't argue that fact - it's a disorder I was born with, that has an effective treatment. I realize you want to make success stories like mine invisible, but they DO exist. You're sensationalizing the bad examples you come across and mis-informing your readers by telling them that these examples represent the entire trans experience. It's typical hate mongering - much like a great deal of heterosexuals who claim gays and lesbians are child molesters and spreading AIDS all over the world. Or like the people who claim Butches are wannabe men. Or Fred Phelps claiming that AIDS and 9/11 and dead soldiers are God's punishment for homosexuality. You're behaving the same way.

You can empower and support young women a lot more effectively by using real facts and sharing your own personal story without your false judgments and hate speech. You talk about the parents who have written to you, and have refused to consider the fact that they may actually have a trans child - because whether you like it or not, transsexuality DOES exist and CAN be effectively treated - and now if one of those kids actually were trans, you have succeeded in turning their parents against them leaving them alone and without help. Assuming one of those kids actually were trans, they are 55% more likely to commit suicide than any other group. According to both the American Medical Association and the The World Profession for Transgender Health, 
"Gender Identity Disorder (GID) is a serious medical condition recognized as such in both the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Medical Disorders 4th Edition (DSM-IV) and the International Classification of Diseases (10th Revision); and is characterized in the DSM-IV as a persistent discomfort with one's assigned sex and with one's primary and secondary sex characteristics, which causes intense emotional pain and suffering; and GID, if left untreated, can result in clinically significant psychological distress, dysfunction, debilitating depression and, for some people without access to appropriate medical care and treatment, suicidality and death"
Apparently, you have somehow attained some knowledge that these organizations of medical professionals have not... and have found some sort of "proof" that GID is not real. Can you back your theories up with medical and/or psychological research/studies? A medical degree? No... your opinion is based on perceived proofs that are unfounded in any resemblance of truth, and in hatred towards something you clearly don't understand, nor care to. So should one of those kids actually be trans... and have their support system yanked out from under them because of you and people like you - then their blood is on YOUR hands. But that's your karma to live with I suppose.
I realized this morning that you and your faithful sheep aren't open to the truth, and don't care about stepping on other peoples truths to promote your own skewed point of view, so sharing my voice here is truly a waste of time. Sad really... but I'll keep letting people know the truth as I am living it, and let young people know that there is help out there and that they are not invisible just because you say they are. 
I leave you with this... you get what you put out. It's the law of attraction. You want to be accepted by society, you want to be visible, you want equality. You won't ever get those things by spewing hatred and judgement towards others.

I suppose I can use my fortitude and refrain from going to that blog... maybe. But I am committing myself to this fight, I will continue my panel work at Universities, I will attend every function I can and share my message and my personal story, I will do whatever I can in this world to fight for equality and respect. I am not a mistake, I am not invisible. I am living proof that not only does transsexuality exist, it can be corrected, and people do live full, rich, happy lives after transition.