"Performing" Gender?

In a recent comment on another blog... I was accused of both "performing" gender, and "fronting". I sat here scratching my head, trying to decipher what the other commenter was trying to say. Especially since it was said as an insult. I think most of us "perform" gender in one way or another... I've never met anyone truly androgynous, although, I'm sure there are some people who try to refrain from any gender performance. I think we all know by now, or can acknowledge that gender is a social construct. Society attempts to assign a gender to all of us as we enter this world, and sometimes that gender assignment meshes with our biological sex - sometimes it doesn't. As k.d. lang (who I am a HUGE fan of) once told Barbara Walters in an interview, when asked why she dresses in masculine clothing, "clothes are just things we drape over our bodies". Why does it even have to be considered "gender performance"? Can we not all just wear what we like? I find it interesting that someone from the trans hating camp, who works so hard at showing why Butches should not be called "masculine" just because of how they dress or how they wear their hair (gender performance) would turn around and accuse someone else of gender performance. You're completely contradicting yourself! Here's the deal - I am not biologically male. I can't change that. I can choose which gender I feel most comfortable with, and I did. I don't choose clothing based on anything besides personal taste. Some days that's jeans and a kickass cowboy hat, some days it's cargo shorts and a t-shirt - some days it may be the very fancy shiny metallic silver shirt I found at a thrift store recently, that my daughter thinks looks like a girl's shirt. I couldn't care less if it looks "feminine" - it's a fabulous shirt that I can't wait to wear out! I don't choose my clothing according to gender rules just because I transitioned genders, and I didn't transition genders because of the clothing I liked. Plenty of men and women wear clothing that some might consider inappropriate for their gender and DON'T transition. Clothing does not make the man, OR woman. I wear things that I like, and I don't think about what people will think of me when I wear them. I don't care if what I'm wearing makes me looks masculine or feminine. So no, I wouldn't label how I dress, as a performance. I don't think clothing should be assigned to a particular gender. I would like to see a society in which everyone could wear WHATEVER they liked, and not be questioned or told that they're performing anything. Maybe I'm obtuse, but I honestly don't get the big deal over other people's identities. Why does it matter if a person decides not to identify with the gender they're assigned at birth? Why can't we allow one another the freedom to be whoever we want to be? We force one another into boxes all the time in this society and I don't understand why we can't live and let live. Seriously.

Just an Update

Wow. With school, I find it SO HARD to keep up with my personal blogging, writing, etc. I refuse, however, to let this blog fall by the wayside! Thanks to those who have messaged me that they check here all the time for new posts! I have some exciting things going on school-wise! I founded a chapter of the National Organization for Men Against Sexism on campus, still trying to get that all sorted out but its going GREAT! I'm a Teaching Assistant in the AWESOME Intro to Women & Gender Studies class, and I was invited to join WILL - the Wo/Men's Initiative for Leadership Learning, which I'm incredibly proud of! Outside of school, I'm still doing some panels and presentations, and also working on a sensitivity training program that I want to offer, hopefully starting this summer! And as if ALL that weren't enough, I'm working on a book. Whew. Just putting all that down in black and white makes me realize it may be Spring Break before I get any real free time! So there's a mini update... I'll try to think of something to run my mouth about over the weekend so I can put up a real meat & potatoes post. Until then, be kind to yourself and others :)